The Rise and Fall of the Orange People

Nothing has captured my fascination as much as the documentary series Geordie Shore and the rise of an entire orange skinned race..

Each Tuesday my pale skinned family crowd around to learn more about these mysterious orange people and their ways.

I once thought that only people on the Atlantic coast of New Jersey could get their skin that orange but apparently those from the North of England also have easy access to industrial strength tanning products.
Another thing I have learnt from this fascinating doco is that no matter the colour of your skin there is a fine line between having great pecs and having man boobs. And that line is crossed when you display your man cleavage by wearing excessively low scoop neck t-shirts.

I am also transfixed by the women’s ability to wear minimal amounts of clothing, multiple pairs of eyelashes and some of the highest transgender shoes I have ever seen even. I also find it very touching how they stand together like dominoes so that if one does fall she is cushioned by a mass of silicon.

Perhaps by employing this cunning technique they will survive and outlast us all.