This Week ....

Wednesday's Wisdom

You Can’t Take it With You

Unless apparently you’re a Chinese Buddhist!

While watching Gok Wan’s Made in China the other night, I discovered that you can send just about anything into the afterlife including air conditioning units.

I am currently working on a list of my favourite products that I would like passed on to my ancestors so that I may be kept in the style to which I am accustomed even when I am gone! Here is what I have noted down so far...

 

 



If they can't find paper offerings of the above I will also accept the following (Can anyone who knows please advise my ancestors if calories work out the same in the afterlife? because if so I will also be requiring a treadmill)

 

Heaven Scent

Never fall in love (with a limited edition). I met him back in 1998, and it was love at first smell. His heady scent, his robust orange stature, his staying power.

When he left me I became slightly obsessed. I would travel the world asking at duty free counters if they had seen him. Begging beauty store assistants to check their back rooms in case he was hiding out.

I will never forget you Le Feu D'Issey but yesterday I hooked up with your brother!

Wednesday's Wisdom

Road Trip Advice

Growing up spontaneity was the norm and being able to be packed and ready for a 2 week holiday in about 30mins was considered a sign of strong character. I was also bought up to conceal just how high maintenance I really am.

Imagine my horror when after taking 2hrs my friend turned up for 1 night away with 3 large bags. The shame was fully felt when unloading the car at the hotel in front of the men folk who’s eyes were rolling. I am going to have to take her in hand and do some intensive covert packing training with her, but here are some of my tips for those of you not so far gone.

 

1. Conceal as much as possible in the car, preferably toss your bag on the backseat in a carefree manner and never ever open the boot in front of company.

 

2. Haul your largest handbag and stuff it to capacity as this will still look small when standing next to a suitcase.

 

3. Pretend you thought you were going fly fishing or if that is totally inappropriate just wear a jacket with lots of pockets and use them all.

 

4. Send your shoes ahead by courier (I once had to do this, I am not joking)

 

5. Extend the limit on your credit card and sneak off down to the shops (this will not work in the provinces or outer Mongolia).

 

 

 

Summer Breeze

Knowing my love for party pants you will appreciate my frustrations at not being able to find a pair of replacement drop crotch pants after my Roxy ones disintegrated. (not impressed with the quality of those!).

I tried stalking a woman last week in an effort to find out where she got her’s but she gave me the slip. Determined not to be deprived of the airy feeling drop crotch pants provide on a hot summers day I focused my attention on finding out where all the youths were purchasing theirs.

A couple of hours later I was in a men’s changing room being reassured that lots of women come in to buy them and how cool I looked. Half the price, twice the quality and compliments to boot!

 

Party pants what's not to love, feel cool, look cool!

 

 

 

Weekend Bliss

For a blissful weekend follow these simple instructions.

 

Ingredients:

2 c Portobello mushrooms (sliced) or button (cut in half)
1/2 -c of cream
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
Tbsp butter
Toast

Optional Extras:

Spinach

Crispy bacon.

Method:

Melt butter in a frying pan on medium-high heat. Add garlic and mushrooms, and saute for about two minutes. Add cream and reduce until thick. Serve on toasted ciabatta. Eat then go back to bed.

 

 

This week ....

Wednesday's Wisdom